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Sarah toyed with her cup a moment before she spoke again. “I had that dream again last night.”

  Colleen leaned forward. “You mean the one where you wake up with the guy standing in your bedroom?”

  “Yeah, except this time he was right next to the bed and he didn’t have a shirt on. It’s really disconcerting to wake up in a dream in your own bed and still be dreaming.”

  “I’ve done that a couple of times. I know what you mean.”

  “That’s all. He was just standing there. I just think it’s kind of strange, that’s all, C.”

  “Could you make out who it was this time?”

  “No, it’s too dark but I could see an athlete’s torso outlined against the light from the window. Whoever it is, he’s something to look at.”

  Colleen chuckled then spoke. “Sarah, have you and Steve done the deed yet?”

  Her friend’s cheeks turned pink as she replied. “No, not yet.”

  “For God’s sake, what are you saving it for? You’ve been dating a few months already. I mean I don’t particularly like the guy but obviously you do.”

  “That’s just it. I like him okay but in all the time we’ve been seeing each other, we’re hardly alone. We’re either on a business dinner or he’s exhausted from work.” She sipped her coffee. “I just don’t feel I really know him well enough to sleep with him.”

  “Hon, you’re thirty seven years old. You’ve been married and divorced. What in the hell is wrong with just getting laid?”

  “I know I’m a bit provincial.”

  Colleen laughed out loud. “A bit?”

  “Okay, a lot. I’m just not ready to be vulnerable like that again.”

  “Yeah, well Steve reminds me of that narcissistic ex-husband of yours. Knocking boots with Jeff wasn’t so great and I doubt it’d be any better with Steve.” She slipped her arms into her jacket sleeves. “Maybe you should just carry on with your dream man for a while until a hunk with some real blood in his veins comes along”

  CHAPTER 2

  Sarah walked to the door of her office. Her three-times-a-week assistant, Maggie, was sitting just outside at her desk with her computer tuned to a shopping site. “Maggie, do I have a one o’clock or can I go for lunch today?”

  Maggie put the roll of oatmeal cookies aside then pulled up the client schedule for the day. “Sorry Sarah, you do have a one o’clock. It’s Colleen’s little pal, Carlos.”

  “That’s right. Did she email his information to us this morning? I left her three messages yesterday.”

  “Yeah, it just came through.”

  Sarah looked at her watch. “Great, now I’ve got a whole half hour to read up on him.” She sighed. “Just put the phone on voice mail and go ahead to lunch. I’ve got the fort.”

  “Thanks.” Maggie shut down her computer, grabbed her purse from her desk drawer, then headed into the hall.

  “Maggie, bring me a salad.” Sarah called after her, hoping she would be heard above the ding of the elevator. ”Okay. Carlos here I come.” She closed the door going back to her office and her computer.

  Sitting at her desk, she kicked off her shoes. She brought the file onto the screen. “Ah, Carlos Havarro. Okay, twenty five. In trouble most of his life.” She read in silence for several minutes then leaned back in her chair. She gazed at the ceiling thinking how different his case was from any she had worked on before. Would she be able to help him? Would he open up to her? She understood anger management, but his wasn’t the usual textbook case.

  Suddenly Maggie stepped though her door wearing a huge smile. “Sarah, I just got back and there’s a young guy outside. He’s the infamous Carlos and he is gorgeous.”

  “Maggie, don’t worry about his gorgeousness. Just ask him to come in.” She slipped her feet back into her high heels.

  When Carlos walked through the door, Sarah was surprised. He didn’t look like a convict. In fact, he was indeed gorgeous. Tall with black silky hair. Eyes so dark they had a purple cast to them, eyelashes so long and thick they looked like brushes. His cheekbones were strong and high, his skin, golden. His lips were indescribable, thick, shapely and smooth with a perfect cupid’s bow. How could the face of a Botticelli angel be in so much trouble?

  “Hi Carlos. I’m Sarah. Come in and have a seat.” Appearing more confident than she felt, she shook his hand then directed him to sit in the consultation area. The seating space was designed to feel like a living room. A few chairs, a coffee table and small sofa created a comfortable, homelike atmosphere. Her clients opened up more readily when there wasn’t a desk separating them from her.

  He moved to one of the wing back chairs. He sat slumped down with his legs straddled, his hands folded in his lap. He wore torn baggy jeans and a black leather jacket over a hooded black sweatshirt. He rested his elbows on the arms of the chair He looked Sarah directly in the eye. “So what do we do now?”

  Sarah crossed her legs feeling uncomfortable at his direct stare. “Carlos, you and I are going to see if we can work together to get some control of your life. Colleen says that interests you. Does it?”

  Carlos looked at Sarah. His thoughts were completely out of context. “Good lookin’ woman. Nice legs.”

  “Carlos, does it interest you?”

  “Uh huh, yeah. I’m interested.”

  “Do you mind if I record this session?”

  “No, go ahead. Record away.”

  “Alright.” As she pressed the button on the little hand held recorder she used for sessions, she cleared her throat. “First of all, I’d like to tell you a little bit about clinical hypnosis.”

  #

  “How did it go?”

  “Good grief C, he just left my office five minutes ago. Can I have a few minutes to reflect?” Sarah tucked the phone between her chin and her shoulder. She needed both her hands free to staple several papers she meticulously stacked together. “It went fine. It was just our first session.”

  “Yeah but what did you find out?”

  “I just told you, it was our first session. What do you expect? I explained the process and took him into a hypnotic state.” She placed the papers in a file folder, opened her desk drawer then tucked the folder between two others. She shut the drawer. Holding the receiver in her hand again, she spoke. “I still don’t know about this but it looks like he could be a great subject. And you’re right; it appears he’s very bright. He asked some very thoughtful, pointed questions while I was explaining the science behind the state of hypnosis.”

  “Yeah but do you think you’re going to be able to help him?”

  “From the looks of the information you emailed me, he needs all the help he can get.” Sarah checked her calendar. She was finished with work for the day. “Do you want to meet for a glass of wine? We could talk then.”

  “Sure, I’m right around the corner from The Bistro. Is that alright?”

  “Okay, it’ll take me a few minutes to shut down but I’ll be there as soon as I’m able to get out of here. I have to call Steve before I leave.”

  Sarah could imagine the look on her friend’s face as she heard Colleen sigh. Steve was always polite when the three of them had been together, but Colleen still didn’t like him.

  “Fine, I’ll order you a merlot. See you there.” Once again, silence on the other end of the line as Colleen hit the end button on her cell.

  Sarah stood, smoothing the soft wrinkles in her skirt created by sitting at a desk all day. As she looked out her window, she saw the sky was still light outside even though it was late afternoon. A pale winter setting sun peeked through the dirty gray clouds. She was glad to see a little sunshine after such a cold, gloomy few weeks. She slipped into her suit jacket as she picked up the phone. Hitting speed dial, she waited as the phone on the other end rang and rang. Finally it was answered. A deep male voice spoke, “Hi babe. I’m on the other line. Got to cancel dinner tonight. Let me call you back.” He shut down his phone before she had a chance to answer.

  Making plans to b
e with Steve had been difficult from their first date. His work as a prosecuting attorney kept him busy; too busy for them to see each other very often. “Just as well he can’t make it,” she thought. “That’ll make C happy.”

  Packing her brief case and bundling up against the cold outdoor temperature delayed her just long enough for him to return her call.

  “Sarah, sorry. I was trapped on a conference call. I apologize about tonight. I’m just buried in paper.”

  “That’s okay. I’m meeting Colleen for a glass of wine at The Bistro. We’ll just make it into an early dinner as well.” She had expected him to be too busy. He cancelled more times than not. Oddly, she found herself relieved. As much as she wished for a great relationship, she knew Steve was not the man of her dreams.

  “Have fun. I’ll make it up to you soon.” She could tell he covered the mouth piece on the phone but she still heard him speak to his secretary. “Tess, get Zack on the phone and cancel your plans for this evening. We’re working late.” He spoke to Sarah, “Sorry but I have to go. Talk to you soon.”

  He hung up the phone again before she could say goodbye. She picked up her things then walked out the door of her office.

  “Maggie, we’re through for the day. Pack it in and go home.”

  #

  The noise in the bar was deafening. The Bulls were playing and every basketball fan in Chicago seemed to be clustered around the big screen television rooting for the home team.

  “Let’s get a table and have dinner. I can’t hear myself think here much less talk.” Sarah grabbed her belongings and Colleen’s arm. She pushed her way through a mass of men juggling for a closer position to the TV. Unlike the bar, the restaurant was only marginally busy. The hostess was able to seat them immediately.

  Colleen looked at the menu but Sarah already knew what she wanted to eat. “Want to split a large skinny pizza?”

  Colleen shrugged. “Sure, sounds good.” She made a funny face, “But no anchovies.”

  “Okay, no anchovies.” Sarah raised her arm to get the attention of the waitress. When she came to their table, they placed their order.

  “Spill it Sarah. How was the session?”

  “I guess you won’t let it rest until we talk it out. It went fine. Considering.”

  “Why are you making me ask this stupid question? Considering what?” Colleen shifted in her chair. Turning, she spoke to the man seated at the table behind her. “Could you scoot in a little pal? You’re practically sitting in my lap.” The man rolled his eyes but moved his chair closer to his table. It was a rare person that didn’t pay attention to Colleen. Even though she was petite, her friend could be a little scary looking sometimes with her multiple ear piercings and a few obvious tattoos. And her attitude, which could be considered quite abrasive most of the time if you didn’t know her, was always directly to the point.

  “Must be her job,” Sarah thought.

  She said, “Considering his background. It looks to me like he has been battling with his fists since he was a pre-teenager.” She took a sip of her wine. “I guess that’s probably true with a lot of your parolees.”

  “You got that right. Most of these guys don’t know how to communicate with anything other than their fists. It starts when they’re real young and just gets worse. Carlos’ father, and I use the word loosely, more like a sperm donor, was a real case. He beat up his wife and Carlos’ little brother all the time. Drink and batter. That was his M.O. Anyway, he pounded them once too often and even though Carlos was a little kid, he fought back. You can imagine the brutality that brought out from a drunk. Strange thing though, his family wasn’t from the hood. The father worked a full time job and did well financially. It was just his after-hours activities that condemned anyone in his line of fire.”

  The pizza arrived. They both asked for another glass of wine.

  “Go on. He didn’t tell me anything about his childhood. There wasn’t anything about it in his file. I didn’t want to get into it the first session. I want to build some trust first.”

  “Sorry hon, but that isn’t going to be easy. He’s been screwed over by just about everybody that has come in contact with him. While he was still a teenager his mother took him to a therapist. She pronounced him bi-polar. That was real great for his self-esteem. All it did was give him an excuse to just cut loose and go nuts. This guy is no more bi-polar than I am. He’s just pissed off at the world. Wouldn’t you be if you were a human punching bag for a drunk from the time you started to walk?”

  Sarah thought of her own father. He had been difficult but it was only because he truly thought he knew best. He had been controlling but it wasn’t from anger or ill will. He shouted at her but had never raised his hand to her. He even met with the father of her best friend in high school when he found out she was being beaten at home. Sarah’s desire to help was what inspired her to pursue psychology as her life’s work. What a long time ago that seemed.

  “Are you in there?” Colleen leaned in toward her friend and cocked her head to one side. “Hey!”

  “Sorry, anyway, the abuse thing wasn’t in the file you sent me.”

  “Naw, the court doesn’t care if a parolee was abused or not.” She looked down at her napkin. “But I do. This guy could be something and have a real life. Not just living in the gutter.”

  Sarah knew Colleen was thinking about her own damaged childhood. She wasn’t sure that regression therapy would help Carlos. She still questioned if she wanted to work with someone with a police record; even though there was no violence involved, the situation frightened her. But, she overcame her trepidation to support her friend. “Well C, we’ll see if we can’t help him do just that.” She winked and smiled putting her personal concerns behind her. “It couldn’t help that he’s absolutely beautiful, could it?”

  “I won’t lie. It makes me cringe to think of a face like that behind bars.” They both laughed and took a bite of pizza. Colleen put on a solid show, appearing hard as nails on the surface but Sarah knew her very well. Her unyielding, harsh attitude built a solid wall to protect her sensitive, soft hearted nature from the world where she worked and lived.

  “Anyway, what do you think little Miss Deep Sleep? Will you be able to help him?”

  “I won’t know for a while but we’ll see. Like I said, he’s a good subject.” She finished her wine, wondering where his subconscious would take them on the journey into his past life.

  CHAPTER 3

  “The only client you have this afternoon is Gorgeous Havarro.” Maggie smiled and winked.

  “Don’t you mean Carlos? And anyway, aren’t you a little too old to be panting after some guy in his mid-twenties?”

  “I just bought a tee shirt that says ‘Cougar Airlines. Fly me’.”

  Sarah laughed, “Some cougar you are. Close the door and just leave me alone.”

  Maggie placed her hand on her ample bosom right over her heart. She shook her head. “How can you break an old lady’s heart like that? He may like a more vintage woman.”

  “You’re all of thirty six. Close the door and let me get back to work.” She loved Maggie’s over-the-moon sense of humor. There was always a lot of laughter in the office on the three days her assistant was at work.

  Sarah heard the door click shut as the phone rang.

  “Hi babe, got a minute?”

  “Sure Steve. What’s up?”

  “How about dinner next week. Do you have some time? I owe you one at The Bistro.”

  Sarah thought it over. One more try, it was worth at least that much. “Sure. Sounds good.”

  “I have to work all weekend but I’ll call you on Monday as soon as I see what will work for me.” She heard a phone ring in the background.

  “Fine. Talk to you then.” She heard his good bye faintly as he picked up the other phone. Staring out the window, she wondered why she always picked unavailable men. “Do I do it just to keep me safe? What am I afraid of?”

  The door of the office open
ed. Maggie leaned into the room, a huge smile spread over her face. She winked at Sarah. “Mr. Havarro is here to see you.”

  Sarah shook her head glad Maggie didn’t know all the hard facts about Carlos. She grinned at her assistant wondering if she would be so smitten if she did. “Just send him in Maggie.” Sarah appeared much more confident than she felt at dealing with a convict. He appeared peaceful enough however his police record proved that untrue.

  Maggie disappeared. In her place stood her six-foot-two inch client. His hair was tidy. His jeans weren’t torn and didn’t hang down below the band on his underwear. He looked as if he cleaned up a bit before their appointment. “Or maybe he’s just back from court,” she thought.

  “Hi Carlos. Come in.”

  “Where do you want me? At the table or in the sleep chair?” He motioned to the recliner that rested across the room.

  Sarah noticed a slight Spanish accent when he spoke. She hadn’t recognized it in his first visit but it was quite clear this time. “Let’s begin at the table.”

  They sat across from one another. “Would you like some water?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  “Alright” She glanced at the folder in her lap. “I’ve been reading the file sent to me by the court. You’re quite a fighter, aren’t you?”

  “Maybe.” He frowned at her question. “When I have to be.” He leaned forward in his chair. His voice was soft, intimidating. “And what the hell does that matter to somebody like you?”

  Her stomach tightened. Thoughts flew through her head faster than light. Why was she doing this? She was so out of her own element with him. But she was a trained professional. She couldn’t let Colleen down. This time she couldn’t give up. She must move forward.

  Ignoring his angry answer, she took a deep breath. She continued. “It seems you have been pushed to it quite a few times. Want to talk about it?”

  He was silent for a moment. When he answered his tone was blatantly hostile, his words clipped. “Nope. Why don’t you just knock me out and do your thing.”

  Sarah was disconcerted by the surly attitude Carlos was presenting even though it was more in tune with his parole profile. He had been polite and agreeable during his first visit. His initial reaction to her and the therapy program she suggested was positive. She had been confident their sessions would continue in the same vein, however, his mood today proved different. Not wanting any kind of interaction he could misconstrue as confrontation she decided to go along with him.